A Colleague's Secret

From loyalty to accountability, one honest question at a time

This transcript shows an actual conversation with Sarah,

prepared as a representative pastoral scenario.

 

You: I recently learned that a colleague clergy member in our judicatory has been involved in a financial arrangement with a congregant that seems inappropriate: personal loans, gifts, blurred lines. I don't know if this rises to the level of something I need to report, or if I'm overreacting.

 

Sarah: You're holding something heavy — a colleague's behavior that doesn't sit right with you, and uncertainty about whether it's yours to carry forward or not. That's not a small place to be.

What exactly have you learned, and how did it come to you?

 

You: Mark is a neighboring pastor, and he said something about this 84-year-old wealthy widow who loves the church and his ministry. She gave him a $500 gift as a thank-you. He joked, but it made me uncomfortable when he talked about getting a loan from her for a down payment on a cabin.

 

Sarah: You heard him describe two different financial transactions with the same person — a gift he's already received, and a loan he's apparently pursuing or has received. And something in the way he talked about it landed wrong.

When he mentioned the loan, what was the tone — was he asking your opinion about whether it was a good idea, or telling you about something that's already done?

 

You: Almost like letting me in on a secret.

 

Sarah: That "letting you in on a secret" feeling — that's worth paying attention to. It suggests he knows this sits in complicated territory, even if he's framing it lightly.

Before we go further, I need to pause here. What you're describing involves a vulnerable older adult, financial transactions with her pastor, and a power imbalance built into that relationship. Even without certainty about what's happened or what it means, this is enough to warrant prompt consultation with your judicatory's safeguarding authority or your bishop's office. You don't need to determine by yourself whether exploitation occurred before raising the concern for review.

Does your judicatory have a clear safeguarding contact, or would reaching out to your regional leader be the right first step?

 

You: I'm nervous about talking to the Bishop. This could ruin Mark's ministry. Maybe I should just talk to him.

 

Sarah: I hear the weight of that — you're holding Mark's reputation, his ministry, his livelihood in your hands, and it feels enormous. The instinct to handle it quietly, colleague to colleague, makes sense.

But here's what I need to name clearly: when there's a possible pattern of financial exploitation involving a vulnerable adult and a pastor, the pastoral conversation you're imagining — just you and Mark — isn't the safe container for discernment anymore. That conversation could alert him in ways that make it harder for the judicatory to review what's actually happening. It could also put you in the position of investigating something that isn't yours to investigate.

The concern you're carrying isn't about Mark's intentions or whether he's a good person. It's about whether an 84-year-old widow is being protected in a relationship where the power imbalance is structural, not just personal. Your judicatory's safeguarding process exists precisely so that you don't have to carry that alone, and so that she is protected regardless of how Mark would explain it.

What would it take for you to make that call to the Bishop's office this week?